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Pokemon PoopBrown Version Pokemon PoopBrown Version

Rated 3 / 5 stars

Not to toot my own horn, but...

Yeah I'm that shmo who made that Pokémon: Pee Red Version flash two years ago that was sorta popular, a bit. Now I'm not bringing that up because I want to compare mine to yours, or even to draw attention to mine. I'm reviewing this flash because I saw myself in you and since I've made a very similar flash, could offer you advice that I would have appreciated. After all, like me, you actually respond to your reviews, which shows that you do care a lot about what you're putting out there for people to see. And what's more, you expect actual criticism from the negative ones, which I applaud you for. Anyway, I've spent entirely too much space with this probably unnecessary intro. On to where this flash actually gains and loses points in my book:

What I enjoyed most was how you set up a cast of characters with personalities. I actually wanted to see what was happening to Ash and Gary since they had a bit of chemistry together, and giving them both a team of unique Pokémon kind of separated them from the other variations of them we've seen in countless flash movies and Nuzlocke fan comics. Prof. Oak's voice is great. Oak being a pervert is nothing we haven't seen before *ahem*, but the way that his voice actor got it down was very enjoyable.

The sprite work was very lively. The way the camera and backgrounds were tweaked to make it seem like we could see all around the characters (Ash's room) was nice, and using the trainer sprites for close-up shots was a nice touch. The lip sync carried over to when they were small, and the characters bounced around and moved like they were actually emoting, which is a bit more than you can say for my old version. But even if the animation does kick the ass out of mine, it isn't perfect. There are a lot of small hiccups that make you wonder why they're even there, some sounds were off or missing all together, and the subtitles seemed stretched at times and were riddled with spelling mistakes, which drags the presentation down all together.

But all these things I'm saying don't seem to be enough to drag the score down to a 6, and that brings me to this flash's biggest problem: its sense of humour. I see how you've been hearing this a lot, but not everything has to be about sex. Hell, sometimes there are times where you don't even need a joke. Having no joke actually IS better than having a bad joke. Case in point: bringing up the Water Temple just to make a TWSS joke about it being (*tee-hee*) HARD. While 3% of your audience may laugh at That's What She Said jokes, the other 97% will be either cringing or facepalming. It seems like a lot of the jokes were thrown in like that. Another good (or bad, really) example is when the nerd approaches Ash and Gary and says that Cynthia is cute, but is only into girls, because apparently just bringing up lesbianism counts for a joke (and we find out later that that isn't true, so this anti-joke doesn't even have a reason to exist). Immediately after, he gets kicked in the balls. Wait, why? What promted Ash to do that? It just seems like you didn't put much thought into what went there. Also try to deliver a joke and not just point it out, like Prof. Birch wearing sandals. You can't just have him say "how gay is that?!" It's lazy and embarassing, and it set the bar low for the rest of the flash.

Holy crap am I ever running out of space. Let it be known that while your humour isn't to my liking, there was enough that I liked that stopped it from being a total stinker. Or even kept it from being bad at all, a 6 is above average. I laughed out loud at the line "WOAH, was that me?!" The ending especially I really liked. The Star Wars joke didn't seem totally forced; it gave me a chuckle. I have no idea why you're catching so much flack for the Sandshrew fight scene, I thought it was the best part of the flash. It's probably one of the best use of sprites that I've seen, not to mention funny, too.

In conclusion, it had its moments, and I believe you will get better in time and learn from your mistakes.

-Lon

PS PoopBrown was too obvious a title choice.


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EASTBEAST responds:

This is a great review to read especially. I remember watching Pee Red when I could barley flash and thinking, wow that would be cool to do one day; it was the humor that really made it a classic in my mind and on NG. :) so with respect this is kind of in ode to Pee Red, But not all quite. I totally took a few pages from you (obviously ha) with perverted Oak, Ash being an ass, and even Gary in his development stages was alot like yours. But I knew to even try to copy your exact style would be a cliche' (As if my title wasn't enough ha) I wanted to expirement with a different kind of humor that was completely, well, stupid, but didn't apologize for itself. It was more inspired by the jokes people use around their friends late at night, which sound stupid in the morning. I will even agree that not all the jokes in this I even laughed at, but I wanted to see them combined with a different kind of pokemon story, other than the one's we've all heard (Ash gets to pewter city and them most pokemon parodies become unconsumated in their lack of conclusion.) I really wanted to expand the pokemon universe in my own direction which I seldom see people do well, but I can understand how the humor in this might undercut it's objective to begin with. But as far as animation went, mine might be more dressed up, but yours is much cleaner and consistent, well timed, and is something I hope to improve on. Anyway, I had fun expirimenting with the humor for myself on this one, and will become less selfish in laughing at my raunchey humor to give some more go for wit in the sequel. I appreciate your critique on my use of humor and advice to better improve, it was beyond helpful. :) I look forward to seeing your original work which seems to be what you are doing now, and I am especially looking forward to the humor, that you really seem to have a good talent in. I hope I didn't sound too pretentious right now or anything haha but it is late so I will probably regret it in the morning. haha I am looking forward to your future projects as well.

sincerely

-Esty

P.s Since you aren't going to be making anymore pokemon flashes, could I borrow the title Fart Gold? haha I kid I kid, but seriously.


There She Is!! step3 There She Is!! step3

Rated 5 / 5 stars

My absolute favourite Flash.

I realize that the lot of you probably won't read this review, but I feel compelled to write it anyway. I've been putting off writing it forever because I know that I'll probably be going on about it until the character limit's up. However, I haven't written a nice, long, positive review in too long, so here we go...

I'm going to start off by saying that I scarcely give 10s out. I think 10s are reserved for things that you consider ABSOLUTELY flawless and perfect. Like I said, this Flash is at the very top, and this is my favourite episode in the series. But I'll actually talk about the movie now, so let's break this review down:

Animation:

Good Lord, it is without a doubt the smoothest and most beautiful animation I have ever seen bless a movie. Yeah, a movie, because this is above film-quality. It looks especially good when you have the camera completely turn around the characters. The style is really original and I think the simplistic mostly black-and-white characters and backgrounds make the animation look even better. Anyone who claims that the animation is bad has just simply never tried to animate anything in their life.

Music:

The music was also a great choice. I'm a sucker for J-Pop and stuff where I can't understand the lyrics because it just makes it all the catchier for me. Every now and then, it still pops up randomly and I just can't seem to get it out. This applies to every song in all 5 episodes. Love 'em. May be weird, but I do find it... well... cute. Which brings me effortlessly to the next section:

Characters:

I love the characters and find it hard not to tell people who refer to them as "the bunny and the cat" that their names are Doki and Nabi. I'm not even in to anime, but I've always loved the chibi style and I absolutely love the expressions on all the characters and how you're able to make them seem cute to me and make me care about them without even including dialogue. It reminds me of Wall-E, another feel-good, cutesy movie. I love it as well, but this will always hold the place in my heart as the original. It takes a lot to not squeal with joy like a moron when they hug at the end of the final step. It's just that powerful.

The series as a whole:

If I reviewed every episode like this, I would end up repeating myself way too much. In fact, I must have said "absolutely flawless" like 30 times already, but it really is just that good. I'll talk about the rest of them in order from weakest-strongest.

I actually see step 1 as the weakest (still deserving of a 10 score). Even if the animation from back then remains phenomenal nowadays, it can't compare to the animation in these later ones. But it sets the groundwork, so it's totally a classic.

Although I love the turn step 4 took, the feel-good moments suffer because of it. It remains really good on its own and I think sets up the final step even stronger. I actually felt sad for the porcupine when it died trying to stop the mob... Shut up, it's emotional!

step 2 was great. I think it had the catchiest song, too. I remember watching it with a friend who was just SEARCHING for animation flaws because he was so in shock. When Doki licked the crumbs off the plate, he pointed out that there was a simple white background. She then turned to the camera and it panned down an entire ally beautifully and promptly shut him up.

The final step had a really powerful ending and seeing all the characters unite to end the "racism" had a huge impact and sent a really good moral out.

In conclusion, I love this series and did have to cut a lot down in this review to hit under the character limit. I would love more, but I think the series ended perfectly, so instead I think something like it would be great. I don't care, I just need more from you guys! I watch these flashes when I'm feeling down and they always succeed in cheering me up. It gave me my first smile after my dog died. I just want other people to know how much this has inspired me and for them to give it chance too, because you'd have to be really cold-hearted to not be moved by this.

-Lon


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The ALL Sprites Collab The ALL Sprites Collab

Rated 2 / 5 stars

No.

This is the exact stereotype that any sprite author would want to avoid. It's garbage; there were about two talented authors but that hardly makes up for what is mostly a putrid flash. There were even some drawn things in there. By the name I would assume that the minor difference from other sprite collabs would be that this uses ONLY sprites. So there really isn't anything to set it apart, is there?

I'm ready to go through every skit in here and review each one. So I will! :D

[Damn, I have to skip some due to character limitations!!]

The opening thing:

What? Yeah, Anchorman quote. Other people's jokes and other people's characters. That's great. It didn't even look good, the character jittered around a lot.

The me-

Wait, what? What kind of menu is that? A blue fill background with a sprite and the word "Play"? You couldn't have tried a LITTLE harder? I can't use scene select to help me write this review? Ugh.

1st skit:

Wow, I don't think anyone's ever done a joke about how the princess is kidnapped a whole lot. At least you had lousy voice acting to mix it up a bit...

2nd skit:

I'm sorry, I missed the joke. What, Chocolakkawhatever? LOLRANDUM. Or is it because he almost swore but got cut off?... Why did he even utter a WTF anyway?

4th skit:

That was some of the most horrible combinations of sprites and flash I've ever seen. LOLOLOLOLOLOL Luigi gets hit! That doesn't happen in the game. X3

5th skit:

HAHAHA NOW MEGAMAN GETS HIT BY SOMETHING LOLOLOLOLOLOL HOW DO YOU GUYS COME UP WITH THIS STUFF?

6th skit:

Oh, haha. Mario said the F-word. That's pretty ingenious right there.

8th skit:

Wow... It's a penis. I'm convinced that you're trying to be an NG stereotype. :/

9th skit:

Wow, more stolen jokes with stolen characters. How do people find this funny?

10th skit:

What? That Sandbag sprite look resized, if not just overall disproportioned. I don't recall Sandbag being too short to be hit by projectiles ever a joke in SSBB... so what's the point? Then more random violence and more TV show audio. God damn.

11th skit:

HALLELUJAH! It seems that someone put effort into their entry. Congratulations, GameboyHero, you win the I-put-effort-into-my-animation-to-mak e-it-look-decent award!

12th skit:

What? Back to the Future audio with Microsoft Sam saying "my penis"? "Back to my penis" doesn't even make sense. The sprites were terribly pixelated and... why did they need to be in Green Hill Zone?

13th skit:

Okay, that was pretty immature, but I have to admit to not-cringing as it was kind of well done.

14th skit:

Master Chief crushed OMFG THATS SO RANDIM + IT HAV HALO I VOT 5.

15th skit:

Great; it's continued. This time he says shit. Woo.

17th skit:

Sorry, I blinked, was there an unnecessary scene thrown here?

18th skit:

Horrible spritework all around. What's the joke anyway? Tetris block in SSBB? Like that hasn't been done before.

20th skit (whoof...):

Another dick joke! This time it has furry! Who cares that there are about 6 frames of animation?

22nd skit:

I have to admit to thinking up something like this myself. So I can't really knock it down too much. It seems to lag a whole lot whenever Kirby walks over to Ditto. Only ever in that scene. Weird, but forgivable.

23rd skit:

"This game is bad!" OMFG IT WAS BAD! I AGREE, I HOPE SOMEONE GETS HURT TO KEEP MY SUGAR-FILLED BRAIN ON ITS HIGH. BWAHAHAHA.

24th skit:

HAHAHAHA THAT'S SO FUNNY BECAUSE... it's actually really well done. I actually chuckled at this one. Props to... damn, I didn't catch your name and can't go back with scene selection. You win the best joke award, but then ruined it a tad when Snake shot Kirby. Oh well, good job on this one nonetheless.

25th skit:

And finally the ending. It's still not funny.

And that for the most part wraps it up. I can't believe I wrote all that. Anyway, My point is: please, please don't make another and further the stereotype that sprite animations/collabs all involve penis jokes and unnecessary swearing. They truly are annoying, and I await a slew of good ones to aid the cause.

Your's truly,
-Lon


Recent Game Reviews


Shoop-O-Meter Shoop-O-Meter

Rated 3 / 5 stars

MEMEGASM

Well that was... interesting. :P I can't quite say it was particularly good game-wise, but it had major lulz value which I guess makes up for it. The drawings were good for the most part and the meme-filled lazer section was great, but the actual Shoop-o-meter didn't look so hot. It might have been a better idea to incorporate memes to give it moar appeal.

I'm really not sure what to say about this; there's not a whole lot to it. It was a short but enjoyable gadget, and with some polishing (and moar memes) it could become really addictive for the people lonely enough to recognize those memes.

Sooooo... yeah, good job, I had some fun with it, and it'd be cool to see other meme-based flashes. :)

-Lon



How to draw Luigi How to draw Luigi

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars

Not really suited for flash.

Alright, I'll start off with saying that it was a pretty good tutorial. But this simply isn't a flash. Not for NewGrounds, anyway. This would be better suited for your own website or something, or maybe uploading it to any other site that doesn't go by a scoring system that compares this to other flashes with effort put into them. I'm not saying you're lazy, I mean this is all that was required, but it's not like you lost sleep over the matter. =/

I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this. It's hard to critique something like this. I can't offer room for improvement because frankly, it's a good tutorial, but it's better suited as a book or something... But now I'm just repeating myself, so I suppose I'll leave you with that and have a happy new year.


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javier64 responds:

What you say is true, but I'm sure some people out there wants to learn were ever possible, Hopefully this will help those people out, but I'll try harder next time. ^_^


(Twisted) Cooking Mama (Twisted) Cooking Mama

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Oh my Jesus Christ, you are all idiots.

Well about half of you anyway. All the low-reviewers... I've yet to read one review that offered constructive criticism, but rather found countless ones bashing you for expressing your opinion. Guess what you 11-year-old bastards, this review space is NOT a comment box! He is ALLOWED to slip a message or moral into his own flash, and that doesn't detract from the time and effort he put into this project! There's no one pointing a gun to your head forcing you to become a vegetarian. I love meat, and guess what? I enjoyed the hell out of this game! It was a brilliant parody of Cooking Mama and a very entertaining way to get your message across. If you did convert a few people, right on. More power to you. I don't know if you're a real vegan or if you just pretended to be for the sake of an added joke to the game, but you sure seemed to have caused a [nerdy] riot.

Anyway, as I know better than to use up this review space to simply comment, I'll offer my opinions on this amazing piece of work:

As I stated earlier, this was a brilliant parody of Cooking Mama, and it was about time she got one. I absolutely hated her games and would've loved to do something similar to this myself if I had the Action Script skills. I'm pretty picky when it comes to 9s and 10s, giving only what I think TRULY deserves a 5 one (and a favorite). This does indeed. It was animated, drawn, and coded brilliantly and beautifully. I would much rather play this than actual Cooking Mama. The only reason I could see anyone hating this for would be the whole "Go Veg" thing (which does NOT affect the game!) or the people who are die-hard Cooking Mama fans (all 4 of them). Those people should just piss off and never review again.

Well I'm off to add this to my favorites, ta ta for now.

-Lon


Recent Audio Reviews


Oh Damn Oh Damn

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

DAMN catchy song. (Sorry)

Haha, the day sonicmega offered to voice for me, I just couldn't get enough of his spot-on Oak impression. It's great to hear it in a song, and it's probably the best line in the movie to remix, just because it's so awesome... Why is it so awesome? I dunno. =/ It's just hilarious to hear Prof. Oak say "Oh Damn".

I love when the song really kicks in all high-like at around :35. The beginning is great too. So what keeps it from perfection? Those damn "d"s that sound like clicking noises at the end of all the "Oh"s. They work towards the end at :45 because it sounds like Oak is beatboxing or something, but throughout the rest of the song, it's really annoying. :(

But as simplistic as the song is, if you look past the "d"s, it's hilarious and catchy... (The fact that it's a remix of part of my movie is kinda cool also. :P)

I can assure you and anyone who's reading this that I'll definitely include this as the Bonus Feature, because I can't NOT put it in. :) Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to animating it right now. ^^

-Lon


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Nerd-02 responds:

Cool story bro